Your first date: Brunch at Chicken Inn or Coldstone. You watch nervously as she orders expensive meals yet your pockets are dry. She tells you about her ex-boyfriend’s guitar and that she has a crush on Willy Paul. She agrees to shag on the second date and you invite her to your place or one of your boys’ places for a romp.
The inevitable breakup: You realize she’s too childish and that all the things she’s excited about are things that you did a long time ago
5. The Party Girl
Neighborhood: Roysambu. Zimmerman or Umoja
Her life: She does nothing special with her life. She’s either an average student in college or an average employee at work. She still believes that she’ll find a nice rich guy to marry her and take care of all her problems. She gets sick quite often too because her white blood cells are too dirunk to fight diseases.
Your first date: You go to Skyluxx or your estate club on a Monday night and proceed to get wasted. Then you chipo her
The inevitable breakup: You get tired of getting wasted on every weeknight and having to buy a mzinga every time she’s coming over to your place. You break up with her and she seems to take it a little too well. She just doesn’t care.
6. The younger cougar
Neighborhood: One of the posh estates in Nairobi
Her life: She is in her late twenties or early thirties but eager for the sugar mummy life because she has money. She has a husband who works far away or she probably got divorced. She is a busy woman with a high ranking role somewhere but has no social life. She thus spends her free time fapping and hunting for young boys
Your first date: She invites you to her place since she’s too horny to go on dates first and have sex later. She sends her kids to their auntie when you are about to come. She cooks for you and pounces on you before you even finish the meal. She then demands 10 rounds and doesn’t care that you are tired.